Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Is this THE 'Crap Job' of the Year?

One of the good things about being a world-famous Tefl sleuth is that you have to maintain a network of Tefl spies all over the planet. Well, you need a couple of them in the UK, at least, even if it's just to let you know about the really AWFUL jobs that appear off the Tefl Tradesman's usually perceptive radar.

And the policy is paying off. I mean, just take a look at the awful dogshit of a job that Agent D came up with the other day. Not only is the pay the lousiest I have EVER seen for the UK, but it threatens to send you all over the place - although it disguises this cold vision of internal exile as "open to travel" and "possibility of relocation".

Dear Sandy,

I have just come across this advert (see below) on my tedious trawling in search of a job, and I have added my quick, unthought out and not particularly interesting reply below that.

Unfortunately the ad was posted on gumtree which does not require organisations to disclose their addresses (email or other). I'll only know if they get back to me (which is unlikely).


Teaching English as a Foreign Language to Adults (ESOL) whilst using a wide range of teaching and learning resources already available within the organisation. Learners will be taught ESOL at Entry level's and/or Level 1.

Applicants need to have the following qualification, experience and skills:
• A TESOL / TEFL qualification is the minimum requirement
• Part or fully-qualified CELTA or ESOL core curriculum training applications is an added advantage
• Existing experience of using and creating teaching and learning resources is an added advantage
• Applicant must have experience of using ICT for communication and collaborative working whilst possessing a good interpersonal skills
• Be flexible to work within a team or as an individual
• Maintain appropriate records, monitor students’ progress.
• Carry out any other duties relating to this post
• Build on existing learning resources by creating lessons and resources whilst addressing differential learner needs.
• Open to travel within the UK as can be required to support various sites within the UK
• Possibility for relocation if any opportunity arises.
• Ability to speak any other languages is an added advantage (Kindly mention these when applying)

The rate would be between £6.50 to £8.50 (dependent on the applicants' qualification and/or experience).

Dear Sir or Madam,

I noted with interest your advertisement on gumtree for an ESOL tutor, which I imagine you have now filled.
The role sounded very interesting, but I was wondering if there was one misprint. The advertisement stated that the rate of pay is £6.80 per hour. Obviously with the standard of living in London being what it is, I can't possibly imagine this was a serious wage.

But if it was indeed this lowly rate, could you please explain how you expect someone to live in this day and age on it?

Many thanks for your time.

So, well done Agent D - an extra packet of whisky-laced sherbert dabs is on its way to you for this most superlative example of the 'Crap Jobs' genre.

The bastard thing here, though, is that we don't know who the fuggin' employer is - so can anybody help? I'll give the promise of big bag of scag for information leading to the revealing of this cunt of an employer, who definitely needs a bit of verbal abuse over the phone from Yours Truly, as well as the usual exposure to shame and ridicule on the pages of this blog.

So, come on out there - who is this cunt?!


Captain Sensitive said...

Sandy, if it's NOT the winner of the coveted 'Crap Job of the Year' award for 2009, I shall be very disappointed. How could things possibly be worse?

The hourly rate on offer is about the same I was getting at the end of the 1980s - early 1990s in London. This 'cunt', as you refer to the esteemed employer, DEFINITELY needs flushing out and given a severe kicking!

Anonymous said...

Sometimes I'm just too nice... perhaps they pay for a full 40 hour week?...

(I know, I know, but then I always say excuse me after I've just flattened the opposition centre-half - it's terrible being a polite Englishwoman).

If not I think they should be pointed out to the Low Pay Unit or at the very least send the ad to be read out on Radio 4 News Quiz for the delectation of EFL teachers listening on internet radio all over the world.


Anonymous said...

haw haw haw

Anonymous said...

you gotta work hard boy
lesson number one if you want money
shame you fuckwits can't learn one simple fucking lesson. Probably more university than is good for you. What do they teach you at uni nowadays? Just how to overvalue your worthless attitude
Haw haw