Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Spam, spam, spam...

Well, I s'pose it's not every day that a fly takes a dive straight into my web; in fact, I can't recall it ever having happened before. But yesterday I got myself lucky, as that well-known provider of quality online and weekend TEFL courses, i-to-i, popped an unsolicited message into my inbox. Just have a quick butcher's hook at this cheeky little e-mail below...

Dear Sandy McManus,

I have recently come across your blog and noticed it provides some great information.

I would like to ask whether you would consider listing our site www.i-to-i.com/tefl/ as a resource on the following page of your blog (http://tefltradesman.blogspot.com/) as we offer many opportunities qualified ESL/TEFL teachers and would like to offer additional information for your readers.

Please visit us at www.i-to-i.com/tefl/ to check whether our web page would be a useful addition to your resource links.

If you have any further questions about our services or our requested listing please feel free to e-mail me.

For your convenience I have provided the following link:
http://www.i-to-i.com/tefl/">i-to-i TEFL

Many Thanks
Lloyd Cooke

You're a true genius, Lloyd, contacting me out of the blue like that. I guess you'll be getting in touch with Inspector McHammered of the TEFL Blacklist soon, to make the same crafty appeal for a spot of free advertising, eh? Well, don't bother mate, as he rumbled your lot and their little caper some time ago. Just click on the links below for a 'taster' of some of the 'taster courses' in TEFL that they offer...

http://teflblacklist.blogspot.com/2008/01/i-to-i-tefl-up-to-their-old-tricks.html

http://teflblacklist.blogspot.com/2007/11/i-to-i-tefl.html


http://teflblacklist.blogspot.com/2007/06/i-to-i-tefl-1-to-1-tefl-1-to-1-tefl.html

In fact, according to the Inspector, i-to-i have such a great reputation in the TEFL trade because they have recognised that "it's all about selling courses, in the case of i-to-i of less value than parrot droppings." Of course, I've no doubt these parrot droppings produce high-flyers in the classroom, too.

I mean, just take a look on their website at their 'two point TEFL promise' - which then somehow morphs into a 'three point TEFL promise' on another page. This truly generous and amazing pledge "guarantees your money back after the first seven days if you're not completely satisfied with the TEFL product you receive from us." In other words, they comply with the law on providing goods and services that are fit for their purpose - incredible, eh?!

The tedious bullshit goes on though, with the claim to "offer the best quality courses which are externally approved by the ODLQC and the SQMS." Yeah, who?!? Obviously far better than Trinity or Cambridge, or even the poor old British Council! Clearly they have no need for getting their teaching qualifications accredited by, for example, an organisation dedicated to verifying and approving teaching qualifications, eh? No, none at all, mate!

One item of the multiply articulated promise did strike me as quite true, though - "Our great experience ... ensures that we are unrivalled in the industry." Well, they certainly are unique when it comes to selling crappy online and weekend EFL courses that are recognised by absolutely NOBODY in the Tefl trade!

Maybe their singular reputation in the whacky world of Tefl has been achieved by this: "hiring only the best TEFL tutors, who have at least three years experience teaching overseas and possess a CELTA qualification." Wow, that's great - somebody with a Tefl Cert (but not one of theirs, I notice) and three years of teaching experience ... but no teacher-training qualifications or experience!

Well, I guess Lloyd Cooke, the sender of the cunning e-mail above, was right after all when he purred "your blog ... provides some great information". Thanks to you, Lloyd, it now provides a little more!



18 comments:

Anonymous said...

I have shared a parable with you and still you mock and insult me. I hope your spark does not flicker but yes, yes I think it is can you see? Trembling and flickering in loathsome convulsions of timidity in the face of SUPERIORITY.

Anonymous said...

HUH? Just pick up almost any newspaper or magazine at the news agent. This is just a little, light criticism helping to build your brand, no?

Anonymous said...

It must pLEASE you to mock, to cant and preen, to jabber in your hoodlum syllables BUT YOU CANNOT touch the EAGLE you are not worthy to tether your carriage in the mansion of his courtyard NO IT would NOT BE ALOWED

The TEFL Tradesman said...

Thanks a lot for your fine contributions, Paul. Your extreme wit is always guaranteed to raise a laugh - at you, naturally. Have you been forgetting to take the usual medication lately, uh? You know, the stuff that's designed to plug that hole in your head...

Anonymous said...

Hate crime reported to Slough police, hate crimes unit, crime number 87577/b

Oliver Twist said...

My, you really ARE keeping us entertained today, ain't ya, my little leper of the TEFL scene! Keep at it - I could do with a good laugh today.

Anonymous said...

Canting and preening, bliffy bluffing, hot puffing YOU WILL NOT tether your carriage YOU WILL NOT share my views YOU WILL NOT despoil my architraves I AM SUPREME and you are the rabbit under the stone in the swamp of your dELUSIONMENT

CRIME NUMBERS OBTAINED FOR ALL THIS
DAVE VERY SUPPORTIVE

Oliver Twist said...

The swamp of MY delusion? Oh dear, you are indeed deluded - far more than we ever thought!

I see that your forthcoming trial is getting your eagle's feathers ruffled ... very ruffled indeed!

Anonymous said...

OT & TT, what is this trial? I hope it settles everything and if PL does owe money then it is paid and this private UK TEFL war becomes old news.
Why is a UK town called "slough"? That means "swamp" in the OED??

Friends of Windsor said...

Yes, that's right. Paul Lowe will be set before the beak in March. His dodgey dealings will be made public, together with all the money he owes.

I reckon he'll probably do a runner, actually, and end up hiding under his Spanish rock.

Anonymous said...

See them prance and jabber, see them preen and anoint themselves, all imaginary all faked you do not exist. There! I SAY IT AND IT IS TRUE. You do NOT exist, non-sparks, irrelevant vulgar figments. YOU ARE NOT THERE>

Anonymous said...

SILENCE from the throng of figments no back chat no slack-jawed muttering. You hear that silence? YES I DO. It is because things that do not exist cannot speak THERE is my PROOF. You have duh yeah dat's it boyos you have proved it duh now you get it now you grasp the simple principles of nucleic physics WHICH are that you do not EXIST not quite the Manhattan Project is it? BUT still SOMETHINK DAT you TEFL lot could maybe just grasp, just get yer lop-eared brains around? NO? Well it don't matter none BECAUSE YOU ARE NOT There anyway HA HA HA I have won triumphed vanquished the non spARKS. BYE BYE NON EXISTENT SPARKS

The TEFL Tradesman said...

It looks to me that somebody else is quite "NOT THERE". Keep it coming, Paul - you're doing your cause the world of good, and providing some first-rate entertainment at the same time!

Lindsay Clandfield said...

I got a similar email from i to i. Thanks for the heads-up.

David V. said...

I also got this email. It genuinely amuses me that this joker saw fit to send this to you. What was he thinking, honestly?

Anonymous said...

I think Paul Lowe has been at the Carlsberg Special and magic mushrooms again.Let's hope that he shuffles off this mortal coil once and for all!

Anonymous said...

Paul Lowe thinks that he's an 'eagle,'does he? More like a shite-hawk suffering from bovine spongiform encephalitis,if you ask me!A disease probably caused by the amount of cat food [containing beef condemned as unfit for human consumption]that the trampy bastard has been eating since his scams began to go down the lavvie.Money is probably scarce in the Lowe household at the moment!

Anonymous said...

Elsewhere,ladies,lady-boys and gentlemen,our drooling,arse-picking and bus window-licking star asshole Paul Lowe refers to himself as a 'bright spark.'As his efforts have come to naught,since no evidence can be brought forth by him or his cohorts to refute any allegations made at any time, it can be safely assumed that he is more of a 'wet fart.'So,as the 2oth of february approaches,get your wellies,oilskins and umbrellas ready,as Paul Lowe could easily explode in a storm of liquid shite!
Yours warningly'
William Frederickson