Sunday, January 25, 2009

So, Farewell Then, Dear Inspector...

It gives me great displeasure to report the disappearance, and probable death, of a fellow disser of TEFL toerags, Inspector McHammered of The Lard. Yes, the irrepressible author of the TEFL Blacklist, seen alongside at a luncheon held in his honour in Pamplona, has apparently either done a bunk or, more likely, been bonked on the head and left for dead. His final message, dated December 3, 2008, and titled "Thought for the Day" offered a mere crumb of a cryptic clue, and was as follows...

First they came for the Communists, but I was not a Communist so I did not speak out.
Then they came for the Socialists and the Trade Unionists, but I was neither, so I did not speak out.
Then they came for the Jews, but I was not a Jew so I did not speak out.
And when they came for me, there was no one left to speak out for me.

Dietrich Bonhoeffer


You see, I feel somewhat guilty for the poor fellow's demise, as he is, so to speak, cut from my very own flesh. It was just about two years ago when The Inspector took over the reins of the TEFL Blacklist from yours truly, its founder, at a time when I was being hounded to death (well, almost) by, amongst others, a blackguard 'headmaster' from a tin-pot school in Japan, and an enraged father of a teenage girl from Jakarta, who mistakenly took me for his daughter's seducer (as IF!).

Anyhow, go there and pay your respects to one of TEFL's brighter sparks, a veritable "digger of the TEFL dirt" who always had the down-trodden Tefler's better interests at heart. By all accounts it appears he has died a bitter and lonely death, probably battered to pieces with one of his own extra-large sized cucumbers by some disgruntled TEFL charlatan whom the Inspector had exposed.

We'll miss you, dear Inspector, miss you and your cucumbers terribly!

PS: check here for a possible update...

http://www.usingenglish.com/profiles/tdol/archives/000350.html

21 comments:

Anonymous said...

HE DOES NOT EXIST EITHER because he was never there, he was one of you multiple personalities setting out wares on many stalls masquerading as universal truth. YOU are like a many-headed hydra that must be vanquished by the sword, I have slain one head and now for the rest; banish them into NON ENTITY DUh duh slap my head duh dat's it boys NON EXISTENCE FOR YOU TEFL HYDRA tefl snake monster NON EXISTENCE

The TEFL Tradesman said...

Thanks for dropping in, Paul. But shouldn't you be over on your own blog - you know, the one that's DEDICATED to your good self and your SLIMY, SLEAZY ways?

http://windsorswindler.blogspot.com

Get back in yer box, nutter!!

Shaun Ryder said...

What a fookin' flid. Even that The Baron made more fookin' sense.

David V. said...

Is he really gone?

The TEFL Tradesman said...

It looks like it. He's been silent for some two months now. Maybe Paul Lowe got him?

Anonymous said...

What? Paul Lowe got me?Come on,that'd be an impossibility.The bastard's scared of me.Plus,most people would find it hard to 'get' me.
Flid? Shaunie,you do talk crap-even more than your mate Paul 'Paedo Ballocks'Lowe,the Arch-Nonce of Windsor.

Anonymous said...

What IS evident is that Paul Lowe has got the 'heebie-jeebies.'A 'many-headed hydra' is causing all his problems,is it? I suspect that he also hallucinates that giant pieces of fruit chase him,too.Somebody please tell him to stop eating those funny little mushrooms that grow in the parks of Windsor,for fuck's sake! Next he'll be threatening everyone with a horde of evil gnomes or pixies...
Wait a minute...Paul DID do something like that:he employed that slippery ,hydrocephalic little hobbit Simon 'Groper' Groin.
Otherwise known as 'I haven't had a girlfriend in two years.'
William Frederickson.

Anonymous said...

What happened to Simon 'I haven't had a girlfriend in two years' Groper-Groin? Did somebody smash the test-tube that he used to live in?

Shaun Ryder said...

Who the fook's this new coont then? simon who? An' by the way that The Baron, come an' 'ave a pop lad-you'll be pickin' up yer teeth with broken fingers. You coont.

Anonymous said...

Yes,okay...you and how many members of the BNP,you dozy shit? Or how many Windsor School employees,failing that?
Actually,'Shaun,'I think you're one of Paul 'Spastic'Lowe's multiple personalities.Why rear your fucking horrible head when I rip into another of the Windsor Spastic's henchmen?
As for your threat,I disregard it,as I am 'mental:'but not in the way you think.Find it out,after i've defended myself.And count your broken bones,you pretend Mancunian.
William Frederickson

The TEFL Tradesman said...

Now now, you two - STOP IT! This is no place to be indulging in your spazz vendettas.

This page is dedicated to the fond memory of Inspector McHammered, and if you have no decent respects to pay the good man, please get out and continue your bickering elsewhere. Lawks amercy!!

Anonymous said...

Dreadfully sorry,Mr TEFL Tradesman,but i do have an allergy to numpties.I stand corrected,sir.May the Good Inspector Mchammered be doing well wherever he is at this time and in the future. And let there be a shitload of fermented yaks'milk for him.
Copious arse was kicked in the skankier reaches of the TEFL industry by him and he will be sadly missed by anyone with a sense of fairness.The Tefl Blacklist will stand as a warning to all about where not to go in the TEFL industry.

William Frederickson

Shaun Ryder said...

Right, The Baron, lad. But iss not exactly obvious from yer fractured prose who Simon Groin Groper is. I stand corrected. Sharn't be apologisin' tho- cos yer a fookin' jizz stick.

Anonymous said...

And you are a tool and an arrogant gobshite,'Ryder.'As well as illiterate and a pretend Northerner.Go and insult your alter-ego Paul Lowe.I didn't apologise to you and i refuse to. End of discussion.

William Frederickson.

Shaun Ryder said...

'e's a foony ole coont this The Baron, mind. Iss 'im thass got all diffrunt identities an' that, not Shaunie. An' now the fookin' discussions over 'e says: like a boss. But 'e's not a boss- 'e's a coont an' efl teacher. A double coont in anyone's book.

Anonymous said...

God alone knows who you are,Ryder,but i know what you are-a moronic piece of shit. A fucking arrogant lump of diseased shit. I bet you do what mentally-ill inhabitants of Brixton and Hackney do and stamp around the streets in a big hat,staring at people,thinking that you can intimidate them.
You,sir,are a bigger waste of space and pain in the arse than Paul Lowe,Captain Hook,Abu Qatada or that bastard Nick Griffin.
Crawl back under your stone,you snotty bag-lady's jam-rag.

Shaun Ryder said...

Iss overly wordy, yer prose, lad. Iss like yer tryin' too 'ard. Yer parents were a bit absent with you, y'know..they weren't really as interested as they should 'ave been. Probly yer an older brother who got all usurp by the younger sibling. But fer me thass too complicated-I'd juss mark you down as a coont.

Anonymous said...

Shaun, i fucked your mother and buggered your sister. After i rode a slapper who looked like Amy Crackhouse up the rectal vent without a 'johnny.'And your grannie gave me a blowjob.Says you taught her beautifully. So,do me a favour and go and sit on Nick Griffin's cock.

Anonymous said...

Shaun Scheisse's mother paid him a lot of attention- his family sent him away to do TEFL cos he wore her cunt out!

William Frederickson

Anonymous said...

Shaun Ryder is really 'Paul Gadd' or Gary Glitter.Gay Paedophile twat

Anonymous said...

Shaun Ryder will get machete'd off the Baron.