Monday, June 22, 2009

A New Career in a New Town

Well, it's a new country actually, but I couldn't resist the chance to make profitable use of one of my favourite David Bowie titles. And, erm, it's more of a continuation of the tedious soap-opera that is my current career (if it can seriously be called that) than an attempt to embark on a new one. But what the hell, eh!

You see, I've just about had enough of the deceitful circus that passes for education (and therefore, teaching) in this Gulf country, and so I've decided to take a bit of a plunge and throw in the towel (apologies for the yawning cliches there, folks). So, it's goodbye to the beach and the soaring temperatures, and hello again to the caviar and the vodka.

Of course, there are other contributing reasons too, the most important one being that my wife needs to fulfil a two-year residence requirement in the UK before she can get her grubby hands on a British passport. Unfortunately, my attempts to bribe the commissioner at the British Embassy here with plentiful gallons of fermented yak's milk came to nowt, so I was left with no recourse but the legal way.

The new job's not too bad either. It's one of those 60-days-on, 30-days-off types, based somewhere near the Caspian Sea, and the tax-free mullah is quite generous - just a shade under 9,000 quid for the three months. The teaching's six hours per day for six days a week, which, if my memory serves me well, is just about do-able - provided certain 'refreshments' are readily available!

Anyway, I've no wish to divulge the exact location, lest some of my less charitable followers decide to put on some sort of reception committe for me upon arrival, but let me just say that my knowledge of Russian should come in extremely handy! Meanwhile, I'll be jetting back to Skidrow-on-Sea in a few days, and looking forward to reacquainting myself with the sophisticated delights of contemporary British culture in its urban setting.

Or even the suburban variety - it is Skidrow-on-Sea after all!

22 comments:

Shaun Ryder said...

Aye, I've bin workin' on a new song fer this blog. 'Ere a coont, there a coont, Everywhere a coont, coont, Old McManus 'ad a farm' it goes like that. Thass all I've done. You can do the rest yeh?

The TEFL Tradesman said...

I was expecting more from a former legend of urban pop music, Shaun, but I guess it's evidence of you having lost the proverbial plot.

What about this, though - "Old man Shaunie 'ad a coont, C-O-O-N-T"? Good , eh? Shall we get a band together? Sandy McManus and the Tefl Twats, featuring Fat Shaun Ryder - I'm liking it, I really am!

Shaun Ryder said...

Aye, me talent might well be on the wane, lad. 'Owever, while we're about it like, I wonder oo would 'ave Bez's job? Iss juss fookin' about really, no talent needed.

Anonymous said...

Yet more hilarious banter from the knob who is Sandy McTwatus and friends. What a wank blog this is. No life? Then this is the blog for you. UTTER SHITE FOR UTTER WANKERS.

The TEFL Tradesman said...

So what are you doing reading it, my brave Mr Anonymous? You're free to set up your rival blog, and then we can see who can write decent blogs and who writes drivel (i.e., you mate!).

Perhaps you'd like to throw some light on your own exciting life, eh? I mean, what do you actually do when you're not slagging off other people's efforts?

Used Jonathon said...

Oooooh! Those capitals, Anon! I love a man in CAPITALS!

Anonymous said...

Let's publish 'Anonymous's' fucking IP number,Sandy, and give him a taste of his own medicine...If he is so perfect and so bloody brave,let him account for his bull-shit like a man.For fuck's sake,even Pained bloody Paul flamed you and you knew who the hell it was,Sandy...Anonymous,you have less bottle than a bloody flid

w.f.

The TEFL Tradesman said...

IP is from Hitchin, Herts area. Yes, we could trace the ownership of those comments, but I prefer to let wankers such as that display their true wankerdom, before they shuffle off back into obscurity

KALINAGO ENGLISH said...

Good luck, looking forward to hearing about the food.

K

Anonymous said...

This is total bullshit. Everyone knows that SM is on his way to Mexico as he bought out the Coyote language schools. After he put that blog up, he bought the place on the cheap. Now Paloma is his driver/mistress and Baby JJ is the shoe shiner/cleaner.

Anonymous said...

I have some steamy video conference clips, "negotiations", between SM and Paloma.

Soon for sale on EBay if any of you twisted teachers want to make a bid.

Oliver Twist said...

OK, it's true - it's destination Mexico, not Astrakhan. But you'll have trouble finding Sandy there, as he speaks and drinks like a native.

Just wait for him to make a slip, though, and you'll nab him. Watch out for his pet camel, Lucy...

Anonymous said...

Well I heard that he's going to Thailand to do teacher training for the British Council...

Ricoh said...

No, no - all false! He's been given a job by the EL GAZETTE!

engelsk said...

A bit late to the party, but congrats on the new direction.

Sandy Fuckin McManus said...

Actually, it is true I am Mexico-bound. I am in love with... Paloma. After I dump the wife and kids in England, I'm off.

Yes we have been "negotiating" via video chat, and we have all the Coyote teacher identity information.

So finally fun in the sun for San' with Paloma.

Kimi said...

Dad! Can you stop in Atlanta on your way to Mexico?

I want to meet you. Do I have brothers and sisters?

The TEFL Tradesman said...

Sod off, the lot of you! I'm off to the beach, and I won't be back for a few weeks...

Sandy said...

Kimi, never mind the TEFL Tradesman. Tell me, what is your mother's name and where did I meet her?

The TEFL Tradesman said...

Hey, stop impersonating me! I'm unique - accept no substitute!

Anonymous said...

this toilet tradesman is just a whore who will sell his sorry ass to any "boss" who pays him a paltry sum to keep his slut and picaninny in jenkem
9k for 3 months what a shit salary -bit more than the rest of these efl monkeys tho
BUT you got to live in the world's asshole full of russki twats and other general niggers

Anonymous said...

OOOOOOHHHH!Someone's upset 'Pained Paul' again! Was it that nasty man William Frederickson,Paulie? Fucking rats' cocks! I should have added 'and wears a dress' to my joke about Paul Lowe and the Queen! I knew Paul would 'come out the closet' one day as he misses his bum-chum Ashley...Fucking Hell's bells and bag-lady's bum-gravy,Paul Lowe's a loony AND a chutney-ferret!And probably wears little girls' knickers.Pink 'uns and probably with all flowers on...I feel physically ill...A poofter AND a mongo...Henceforth,ladies and gentlemen,i suggest that Paul Lowe be known as 'Ladyboy Gaga!'

William Frederickson