Sunday, March 1, 2009

Manchester School of English (part 2)

Well, as I promised in my previous posting, I've done my investigations into the Manchester School of English, and I present my findings here. Take them as you will, but I reckon the place is definitely a bit dodgey! I've passed all this information on to the relevant state authorities, and I am entirely confident that they will either ignore or lose it.

According to the documents lodged with Companies House, the Secretary is one Afzal Ahmed, born on the 12th of June, 1960. He claims to be a British citizen and a Teacher - interestingly enough, that's exactly the same as the Director of the school, his son, Kazif Ahmed. Another coincidence is that they share the same birthday too (June 12), although Kazif was apparently born in 1989 - which makes him a very young teacher at just 19!

And what about this - the company accounts were due on December 27 last year, but are overdue. In fact, the school has never filed a tax return at all! I wonder if that could be related to the fact that they apparently pay their employees in cash, without deducting PAYE tax or National Insurance payments?!

Anyway, now for a bit of history. The MSE Certificate of incorporation is dated Nov. 29, 2007, with a company number of 6441110. The school was set up as a 'general commercial company', not by the Ahmeds, but by agents - Brighton Company Formations Ltd, registered at Midstall, Randolphs Farm, Brighton Rd, Hurstpierpoint, Sussex. It therefore seems to be one of those "off-the-peg" companies that accountants and lawyers specialise in setting up for others.

The curious thing, though, is that the following day, the 30th of November 2007, the director and Secretary resigned. Well, this might be normal in the world of off-the-peg companies - who knows? It does seem odd, though, that Afzal and Kazif were not appointed as Secretary and Director until almost six months later, on May 27, 2008.

On the same day their registered office changed, from Office 412, City House, 131 Friar Gate, Preston. Their current registered office is now the same as the school's - 86 Princess Street, Manchester, which is the Ahmed's residential address too. So, do the classrooms double up as bedrooms at night?

Could this be a dodgey setup? The Companies House website whimpers the following: "The fact that the information has been placed on the public record should not be taken to indicate that Companies House has verified or validated it in any way." In other words, their dates of birth, nationalities, and status as teachers have not even been checked - ever!

Even worse, though, is the fact that the Manchester School of English does not feature AT ALL on the Home Office's Register of Education and Training Providers - which is clearly illegal if they intend to recruit students from outside the European Union.

So, a dodgey EFL school? Visa racket? Something worse? Naah!!


The TEFL Tradesman said...


I rang the school yesterday and spoke to one of the teachers. I asked him (at least six times mind) whether he paid tax and national insurance on his wages and he refused to give me a straight answer - every time!

I guess we'll take that as a negative, then, eh?!

The TEFL Tradesman said...

I have just received this e-mail today from the boss of MSE. It's frightening!!

[ No Subject ]
Wednesday, 4 March, 2009 3:51 PM
From: ""

I have just returned from Lahore and know nothing of what you are talking about.
We will take over your country with Sharia law.
I have read of your pigdog doings and you cannot harm us. We have contacts in UAE mr mac - scottish - anus

It's jihad, fellahs!!

Anonymous said...

PL, here's your chance. You've now got a resourced ally.

SM, time to press your burka?

Anonymous said...

Well, if this 19-year-old half-wit represents a 'resourced' ally, Paul Lowe had really better start worrying! At least PL has the savvy to NOT issue direct threats and insults by e-mail.

BTW, SM has given a heads-up to the Daily Mail, who always show a keen interest in this type of thing. Expect them to make a move soon.

Anonymous said...

San, Maybe you've been at this too long? I mean, imagine if you went back to the Council Estate you grew up in, carryin'your little English teacher books, and walked up to a group of blokes and said, "Do you use a condom when you shag? Well, do you? No, do you really?"

Chances are you'd be chased, kicked and shot at as the Headway is tossed into the mud. But maybe I'm wrong so when you go back, maybe you could give this a go?

Obviously the apparent email is worded to wind you up a little. It's hilarious. You'd write the same thing if you were him, I'm convinced!

Or did you stage this lookin' for a little DM publicity?

Shaun Ryder said...

1) Anonymous one above can go fook 'isself.
2) 'Dodgy' don't 'ave a fooni' 'e' in it, San'. I've bloody told you this before.
3) Click 'ere: iss a real English Droid!
4) Speakin' of fookin' English Droids, where's that fookin' Simon?
5) An' Kim, where's fookin' Doctor Kim?

The TEFL Tradesman said...

See what I mean? Such ungrateful buggers, the lot of you! I spend my time rooting out shysters and Tefl turds, and all I get is flak!!

Well, screw the lot of you - I'm gonna join Dr Kim's school and disappear in a cloud of ganja and giggles. What was the hourly rate again, Dr Kim - 35 euros?

KMS said...

I angry at you, Sandy. I no speak to you.

We lose 2 million EU grant. The English of comittee not so good. They see posting. They think I want money for dog soup Englisch acquisition experiment.

That is special secret class under XXX KitKat theatre in Red Light. Not from EU money.

Have you more foto's van tasty Englisch bulldogs? I'm hungry.

KMS said...

You ask over job. We have hiring freeze and teachers take pay cut.

With less EU money, I only can take 170,000 euro bonus in December. I not happy. Candy must go back working.

If you like, maybe you be intern here? Or, we only have money for class under Kit Kat, 17,50 hr, 45 minute classes, 3/night per week x 7 days. Free water. Special price for room over theatre.

The TEFL Tradesman said...

KitKat? Dog Soup?? Free water?!? I think I'll join the unholy alliance and declare jihad with the brothers Ahmed.

Sharia law for all! Free chicken jalfrezi for all too! (Make that tandoori'd bulldog for Mr Kim, though!)

Anonymous said...

VILE SLANDER AGAIN from the world's foremost and most utterly despised conduit of baleful drivel. BARELY 2 cells to rub together, 1 cell says to the other lets ATTACK BANZAI style, and OOOH all the multi-headed hydras rear up and bay at the moon. I AM NOT TRAMMELLED BY THE humdrum cant you realise that duh duh. SEE YOU IN COURT, LOSER.

Anonymous said...

P, could you please try another communications strategy? There are actually some people lobbying to get rid of the fake obit and now the "may even have links to terrorism" thing here.

Your outbursts have proven to only harden your nemesis, who is basically your personality taking on a different, hardline stance.

Three Brits going at it. It's like fookin' Eastenders. Rise and fall, rise and fall.

Al Rico said...

Well, the MSE bunch sound like nice guys - demented, nasty, and threatening. Still, their religion makes a change from Mr Lowe's brand of dementia and nastiness. I suppose...

Shaun Ryder said...

So...this 'Anonymous' character is tryin' to do what exactly?
Seems to me like 'e's tryin' to change things what Sandy wrote.
No-one /makes/ you come 'ere, coont. If you don't like it, either just fook off or write yer own fookin' pages. Mincin' about goin' 'Oooh, I like that but could change it a bit' makes you sound like a fookin' Larry Grayson impersonator.

Anonymous said...

Obviously he didn't go to a real university.

Shaun Ryder said...

Nah, 'e probably did go to a real University- look at that word 'lobbyin'', iss a coonts word, that.

Anonymous said...

I sense the vile work of Dr Kim's corrupting hand in all this. Sort him out, Shaunie, will yer, mate?!

Shaun Ryder said...

Dr Kim is a lady, Ollie. Besides, ole Shaunie wants to be 'is mate: one day 'e might invite me over to Tulipia fer some weed an' to 'elp the ladies feel nice, so I'm keepin' out of it.

The TEFL Tradesman said...

HA - see what I mean? They all have their own private agendas, this bloody shower. Now me, I'm the only one round here who's prepared to stand up for what's right 'n that.

"Let the sword of truth cut clean and swift". There - who said that? Oh - wasn't it that Tory slimeball Aitken? Hmm...

BTW, watch out for another posting about the repressive antics of MSE and the Paki warlords tomorrow. I promise yer, it'll be a cracker!

KMS said...

What?! I innocent. Leaf nice MSE guys alone. OK 30 euros/hour. I take no profit. Room over theatre is nice. BUt entrance inside XXX theatre. OK? We also try innovation. Dog soup and Coyote method. "I am dorsal fin." Student learn real Englisch fast. I win award.

Anonymous said...

Above: ???

It is all quite easy for the workers/teachers to complain about schools, but why don't the TEFL Tradesman, Oliver Twist, and the former Poly-trained Shaun Ryder start up their own school? Then you could present your "best practices" at conferences and have more positive influence if you don't go broke within a year.

Please remember that you CHOSE a profession that will only deliver you slum accommodation, or at best, a crumbling flat in a discounted suburb and in future, only the very basic pension. If you aspire for more, are you planning to retrain? Or just continue standing in the bread line?

The TEFL Tradesman said...

Dear Anon. (above)

Don't worry about Kim Min Su - he's a regular feature round these parts, and is tolerated (perhaps even encouraged) by most of the neighbours. Personally, I'd like to see the guy choke to death on boiled labrador burgers, the squinty-eyed little bastard, but that's just a personal take on the situation.

As for your suggestions, I guess you're right. TEFLing in the UK is a lifestyle choice for the terminally disillusioned and chronically unimaginative, just one step away from being a social worker or a hairdresser. That's why I don't work there anymore.

But I do like your suggestions for doing some conference stuff. I once offered to give a presentation at an English UK party - sorry, conference - but my working title of "Floating with the TEFL Turds - how to Drift into a non-career in Education" was deemed a touch too tendential. Strange that, I reckon...

Shaun Ryder said...

Ooooh, look: Anonymous is "'keepin' it real'" an' tellin' everyone what to do. What a clever coont. Turns out everyone's a total idiot apart from 'im, thank fook 'e's 'ere to 'elp. But Anon, why don't you say more about yer own successful career choices, lad? C'mon, now-tell us 'ow to be a clever coont, like yerself.

Anonymous said...

I don't think I appreciate the tone of this one above.

However I will selectivly answer your questions, as a public service.

After graduating from Oxford, I worked in the City for 5 years. This provided enough funds for me to semi-retire and live on a modest income.

To be frank however, I have been slightly affected by the downturn, and I may have to work more than a day a week now. I also had to sell a painting for not the best price.

You're not the only ones facing challenges.

Anonymous said...

"...are you planning to retrain? Or just continue standing in the bread line?"
"However I will selectivly answer your questions"
"To be frank however,"

"After graduating from Oxford,"

Which Oxford was that?

Shaun Ryder said...

Yeah, Anonymous is just a lying coont. Oxford = OISE, school of arsewits, coonts, fuglies, 'alfwits an' alkies. Fook off Anonymous, fook off.

Anonymous said...

Mr Ryder. I cannot ascertain whether you are intellectually challenged or just one ripe twat.

Shaun Ryder said...

You can call me Shaun, coonty. As fer the dichotomy you posit iss possible to be both y'know, juss like yer ma' is both a hoor /an'/ a fookin' wino.

Anonymous said...

My wife has just thankfully reminded me that we are in a recession, and therefore I must unfortunately cut back on my charity work.

I wish you all well in your future endeavours. If ever given the chance, I would vote for a pound/hour increase to your hourly wages.

Very best wishes.

Anonymous said...

My darling wife is willing to consider hiring one of the teachers on this site (not Mr Ryder onviously) with cleaning experience for two full days per week. We're near Kennington tube station.

We have a young, high school exchange student from Madrid. In the aim of cutting costs, we are considering combining the tutor and cleaner roles at 10 pounds/hour, 16 hours/week. Basically, it just means that you talk while you clean.

Please do let us know if you are interested. We will need someone who is registered as self-employed.

Shaun Ryder said...

Aye, onviously.

Anonymous said...

That's right, Mr Ryder, you enviously are not suited for the post.

Shaun Ryder said...

Aye, well it sounds like a fookin' shite job anyway, you lying coont. What sort of mess are you an' yer not-able-to-speak-English wife makin' there that it takes 16 fookin' hours a week to clean the fooker? I'm guessing iss mostly mopping up the drool from yer spasticated gob an' cleanin' the tyre marks that 'er wheelchair leaves be'ind.

Anonymous said...

Mr Ryder: Our townhouse has 10 rooms and a garage. We have two autos and a small garden.

We're cutting back so we can only afford 16 hours.

Of course we welcome candidates who will work for 8 pounds/hour, but we want to support the good work of the teachers.

Shaun Ryder said...

Borin'. Lyin'. Coont. Told you before lad, fook off.

Anonymous said...

I see that I need to do a little community work before I'm off to bed.

Mr Ryder, it should be the following:

"Boring, lying cunt, I told you before lad, fuck off."

That's 10 corrections. But as I went to university, I understand.

sleepy said...

I went to an interview at the school a few months back and yes they seemed fairly disorganised and taught the rather appalling Callan method but apart from that I saw nothing particular sinister about the place. And the younger director had a normal native British accent - the whole immigrant indians/ terrorist Muslim line veers into pretty racist territory, although jusging from your comments here I'm guessing you don't care.

Anyway the teachers that they were hiring then were CELTA qualified and just looking for a few part time evening shifts. I don't know about their taxes obviously but they were nice enough to let me join their teacher training day so I could get a reference letter. One of the trainees came because a friend had been working there a while..

Just wanted to add an alternative perspective on what sounds like demonisation of an admittedly disorganised Callan school..

Anonymous said...

Sleepy. Racism is a curious thing. Have you noticed that almost all schools which are dodgy in the UK are run by non-British people?
Owing to PC communist propaganda we are not allowed to notice this however. Just how a massively disproportionate amount of crime is
committed by black people but the police are only allowed to stop a search a certain quota of people from minorities allowing more criminals to get
away with it. I would say that you are more racist than most. Your logic seems to be if someone has antecedents from the sub continent but has
a "normal native British accent" then they are less likely to be a terrorist (because they are "more like us" perhaps?)
It would be interesting to note how many of the current crop of "UK terrorists" had a "normal native British accent"

A C Grayling said...

Dear Trendy 'Liberals' (I use the monicker with some trepidation here),

If we look at the demographics of Europe, we will notice that the native population of the continent is in decline. The fastest population growth is taking place within the immigrant communities, which currently number about 20 million, and are drawn mainly from the muslim parts of the world.

By current trends, the descendants of these eastern immigrant communities will be in the majority in Europe in a relatively small number of generations' time. This is, of course, a mere fact of the dynamics of history, and in itself quite neutral.

However, if we suppose that the descendants of today's muslims are loyasl adherents to their ancestors' faith, then we must assume that when they become the majority in Europe, they will choose to introduce traditional shariah law.

If this is the case, the way of life of men and particularly women in today's Europe - 21st century Europe - will seem an oddity, and a temporary one, in the history of the continent. Many of the liberties exercised bybEuropeans today, especially by women, are not acceptable to traditional Islam, and would not survive a change the social and religious climate.

SO ... if we truly believe that the values that Western societies live by today are right and good, what are we doing to entrench them against eventualities such as this?

If we do nothing, if we refuse to fight to protect and retain everything that the struggle to win individual freedoms has gained for us, we shall have to record the fact that the Age of Liberty has passed its best point, after such a brief period of flourishing.

We have conquered the absolutism of monarchs, the crippling grip of the church, and the authoritarianism of totalitarian governments; we have won our freedoms dear. Are we to just throw them away now, in the face of pressures from the muslim East, merely because to do so appears inconvenient or 'racist'?

Cilla Noir said...

Christ, what a fucking pile of cut and pasted shit. Fuck off you cunt.

Anonymous said...

Such eloquence, Cilla - you are indeed worthy of the mantle of 'defender of the mohammedan moron'!

Anonymous said...

Fucking right
Pakis out NOW

Geoff Boycott said...

My God, are they already out? How many runs did they get? I reckon the New Zealanders will give then a good whipping - 300 runs at leasdt!

A Teacher said...

Wasn't this blog originally complaining about the standard of an School of English? That being so, could there not be more imaginative adgectives used here than those so far boringly repeated?

A Teacher said...

Ok - adjectives!

The TEFL Tradesman said...

Go ahead, A Teacher - show us how to do it! And what's this about "an School"? I take it you're not gramatically challenged - or a foreigner - are you?

The TEFL Tradesman said...

Told you so!


Anonymous said...

So who do you think was behind the latest Pakistani terror attempts in Manchester? Guess who. Flagrant attacks on the British by Pakistanis

Anonymous said...

Some of the comment posters here deserve to be given a good leathering with an aluminium baseball bat,then have a petrol-soaked tyre placed round their necks and set alight. It's the only bleedin langwidge wot they unnerstand!Innit!Read the 'San' an' vote BNP!

William Frederickson[taking the piss.]

Anonymous said...

I think Shaun should take the menial job offered by this plutocratic bastard from S.W.London.
After a few tours of duty,he should then take his employer's 'spasticated' wife out for a walk by the Thames,hang her over a convenient branch and give her a damned good shagging,'doggy-fashion.'Then throw the wheelchair into the river.
Go on,Shaun,you know you want to!Video it and stick it on Youtube...
'Happy Shagging' instead of 'Happy Slapping!''Summat for the troops.'

William Bloody Frederickson