Thursday, September 23, 2010

13 ways to impress your students

I've been very glad to see that there are certain teachers on the TES forums who possess the same caring-sharing attitudes towards their students that I do. The brief excerpt below, containing suitable teacherly responses to the usual student complaint that “This is boring… !!” has been ever so slightly adapted to fit the EFL context. But the sentiments are as true as they have ever been.

"This is boring!!"

1. “Yeah, but not as boring as detention…”
2. “Bored are you? Let me check my ‘bovvered drawer’ (search in drawer) ‘nope, that’s empty” 3. “Good!”
4. “Maybe it is, but it needs to be finished by the end of the lesson so that you can go out to break.”
5. “Then make sure you learn it thoroughly… it’ll be even more boring if you have to revise it for a resit”!
6. “I didn’t realise you like me so much. Four lessons a week isn’t enough for you but hey, if you want to make it five during your lunch break, then I guess there’s not a lot I can do about it, except be flattered”
7. “Nope…..YOU are bored. There’s a difference.”
8. “What is that hideous noise? … Oh, it’s you.”
9. “I’m sure you’re trying to tell me something, but I’m not sure what.”
10. “What has two thumbs and doesn’t give a crap? (gestures at self with both thumbs and smiles!)
11. "... so is listening to you whine, but you're making me do that."
12. "... not as boring as the job you'll end up with if you don't pass."
13. "Get out of my sight you ignorant little pustule. You have the fascination of the texture of a genital wart yourself, so how dare you suggest that my pronouncements on the glorious English language are not engaging and delivered out of a genuine desire to advance the well of human understanding in the community of global communication!?"


Kapitano said...

Quote from real student: "Teacher! This is so bored. I am totally boring!".

My response: Yes, little one, it is bored. But I'm even more boring, because I've taught this same crappy lesson from the same crappy textbook far too many times before? And why? Because the idiot DOS tells me to - and listens at the keyhole to make sure I'm doing it. So if you want better lessons, Kill The Director of Studies!

I'll give you all an alibi - we were on a field trip. Now, who has family in the mafia?

Anonymous said...

The WHOLE problem with this post is that your students are bored in YOUR lesson. Even if the subject is boring, the whole point of being a good teacher is to get your students to be involved and interested in your subjects. No matter what you say in response, if your students aren't involved and interested in your lessons, you will never gain their respect and interest...

The TEFL Tradesman said...

Yeah, right (ZZZzzz...)

Anonymous said...

The WHOLE problem is that YOU are an ALEX CASE stooge ALTER EGO triplet devoted to unknowable SPITE and utterly intransigent in your IRRATIONAL MORES

Unlike some who are MAGNIFICENT

William Fredrickscuntshit said...

Learning a language isn't just about having fun-there's hard facts as regards tenses,idioms and, dare I say,even punctuation that have to be learned if one is to stand a chance of speaking or writing in that language.I suggest cuisenaire rods in this context:depending on size,these can be used to make lessons less boring.
Smaller ones can be used as missiles to be thrown at any bored students* and larger ones could be inserted into a random pupil's bodily orifices horizontally pour encourager les autres.

* I suggest a 'Black Widow' catapult for this method, to ensure maximum injury.'You could have someone's eye out with that,Frederickson!'