Friday, March 12, 2010

A Century and NOT OUT!

So, here I am with my 100th blog posting on The TEFL Tradesman, and it's bloody late! What's more, it's almost empty, too, as I've been extremely busy these past few days, preparing for my upcoming conference presentation at "IATEFL 2010 - the Harrogate Experience".

My presentation title - "Why is the UK TEFL Scene a Pile of Wank? Six Things You Didn't Want to Hear" - has attracted a good deal of early interest already, and I'm looking forward to defending my position with an ever-increasing armoury of carefully-selected items of personal abuse and threats of professional embarassment. Perhaps even a kick in the bollocks.

I might even take my brother's Rottweiler along, just in case things get a little too heated. After all, I have managed to insult a large number of apparently highly esteemed Tefl twerps over the years, and they might well seize the chance to exact a little revenge on the turd-baiting Tefl Tradesman.

But what do I care? A craven attitude has never been one of the underlying features of this blog, has it? So, I'll happily leave you with a fellow traveller - a fellow TEFL Tradesperson, in fact - who has managed to write a juicily forthright and critical piece entitled Tefl Slapheads. The characterisation of one 'Methodology Maggie' is quite sharp and accurate, I feel - almost as good as a back-handed complement from Sandy McAnus!


Paul Owe said...

Is this what castle town is? Another town, but with knobs on? I sauntered out to see and witness the folk of this 21st century fortress.
I didn't belong. I didn't even begin to belong. A veil betwixt myself and grim reality. I was from another age, sideways in time and thought, utterly superior to the hog families in the tattoo parlours. More - if truth be told!! - like the monarch in her silvery atrium.
Success!! They take a taxi, buy flowers, say 'I told you so' at the finishing line. They all like success, just like my brother.
Failure, though, is another facet. They all just avoid you.
Oh God, I am so gifted.

Paul Owe said...

So fucking gifted, that I don't even begin to belong. No, the view across this castle town is too omnivorous, and as I stroll past the (sleeping) policemen (!) I glimpse the multi-boutiqued vernacular of the town that has avoided me since my unfortunate event.
Good thing I worked for Benn publications selling classified ads from 1979 to 1981 (!) Otherwise I wouldn't be where I am today (!)
Failure on the other hand is less apt. People simply ignore you.

Sarah said...

Glad "Maggie" hit the spot for you.

Any chance of you creating TEFL Slapheads 3 - The School Proprietors ?

Anything I wrote for that motley crew would just end up being a laundry list of git, bigger git, immoral git, stupid git, so gitish that gits avoid him and utter bastards.

I'm feeling a little too bitter to do better than that, just worked out tonight that at the ripe old age of 42, I have spent half of my life in this (muddy) field,

I feel you'd add more nuance ( :

Anonymous said...

Anyone know at which BC teacher's party this vid was taken?

The TEFL Tradesman said...

The vid? Probably the Moscow branch, I reckon - possibly St Petrograd. Or maybe it was the English UK Christmas bash? I never realised the bint called Beth was SO horny!!

Anonymous said...

i'm suffocating from cultural theory, and i think the vid is some sort of representation of a conference. but is it iatefl or tesol, that is THE question!


FOUL BESMIRCHERS! Thus do you puff and preen upon the CARBONUNDRUM altar of your OWN devising, thinking it is a trap to DECEEEVE me wheareas it is nought but a MONUMENT to YOUR folly and the FACT that things are NOT going YOUR way. Many and oft a time have I STOOPED to explain FAXCTS to yers yers yous but it PATTERS on DEF eardrums as the MIGHTY rain makes no noise to a Corrupt and workshy SLUG or SNAIL huddling in its SHELL LIKE. There is no swillikin of your devising that could foretangle the MAGnificent likes of ME. UTTERLY divine, utterly magnificat, utterly SUPREME
DESPITE what you have inflicted on my Blameless bonce. Almost got you last WEEK did I not?? NEXT week it shall be, then. I have SPOKEN with the voice of IMPERIAL power and all your dodgy CLERKS of court and JOURNO mates cannot delineate that which I have EMULSIFIED.


More SLANDER more FILTH from the multi headed hydra of TEFL - cut off one head and the others MULTIPLY! But I am not he who shall be ADUMBRATED by your ingenuous PLAN nor have I quailed before the NEPOTISTIC malfeasance that you CORROBORATE thru yer slanders. Autobiography is SOON yes SOON they're all interested, circling like MOFFS arahnd a candle, matey boy, oh yes. Ha ha ha I'll be er - aving of the last LARF at the goon squad when those cheques start ROLLING in. Let's be aving yooo.

Anonymous said...

Sometimes, highly esteemed TEFL twerps get their comeuppence.

The TEFL Tradesman said...

Ta very much for that, dear Mr anon. I'll try and base my next posting around the case you mention above, and expand on just how it involves the Hampstead School of English and the potential loss of their 'trading licence' for EFL in the future.

Cheers again!

Shaun Ryder said...

'Compliment' fer fook's sake.

Anonymous said...

Wow--a real efl scoup!

hey, anyone do a lesson plan around bimbo cheerleeaders yet? if so, please send fast.