Monday, May 16, 2011

Shock Horror - Teflers are NERDS!!

My latest posting contains a brief report from Agent M, a well-concealed 'deep-throat' operative who is exceedingly well-placed to reveal to unsuspecting Tefl brethren the even seamier side of this appalling business. Or something like that. [Unfortunately the conference image that WAS alongside has had to be removed due to legal threats]

I went to the IATEFL bash at Brighton last month and frankly I ended up lying on the beach alone during some sessions, I was so terribly bored. It saddens me to say it, Sandy, but EFL teachers are officially NO FUN ANYMORE. And that is a change worth reporting, I must say.

I mean, what did these comrades-in-arms of mine end up doing in the breaks? Smoke a spliff or two on the beach? Try chatting up a few horny foreign students? Nope, they all seemed to revel in ... taking out their laptops and doing some sort of twitchy-twitchy work-related thing, ON THEIR OWN!! What a bunch of fuggin' douche-bags!!

OK, I must admit that a colleague of mine talked me into attending a workshop on twittering in a weekend session, as I thought I might actually learn something useful for once. No such luck, though – I was faced by an audience of apparent computer nerds who were twittering throughout. I soon found myself longing for the return of a workforce of drunk, skirt-chasing degenerates who turn up for work sozzled and get into fights. Paradise lost?

I reckon the cause for this outbreak of acute nerdiness could be something like this: as a result of the private sector being too mean to send their staff, all the attendees were goody-goody state school English teachers with no lives. In other words, the die-hard piss-it-all-up-the-wall Teflers from the crappy UK Tefltrade schools had to stay at home.

So, is Agent M right in his hypothesis? Did you go to IATEFL last month? Do you have anything, erm, interesting to report? Did you bump into these three dumpy old slappers alongside there [original picture removed due to threats of legal action from a rich publishing house]? And did you shag any of them, or did you prefer to play with yer fuggin’ Blackberry?

Shame on you all...!!!

And finally, as all of my pictures have fallen foul of the International Copyright Police, I'll just have to leave you with a rare and copyright-free glimpse of Yours Truly instead, attempting to remove them from my computer. The images, I mean, not the copyright cops.

Yeh, that really IS me!!


Anonymous said...

Fuggin' Liar!!

Anonymous said...

When did die-hard-piss-it-all-up-the-wall Teflers ever attend IATFEL conferences?