Would YOU work for 20K in London?

Well, would you? If you’re an EFL teacher you’d probably have to, but did you also know that – even as a Diploma-qualified Tefler with the following attributes, you may well have to!

• Experience of delivering examination classes ( FCE/CAE/CPE/IELTS) 
 • Experience of working in multilingual classroom 
 • Experience with continuous assessment, adapting lessons to meet individual needs, giving tutorials and setting learning goals 
 • Proficiency in time management and record keeping 
 • Can demonstrate a strong commitment to own CPD 
 • Confident with using IT in the classroom including IWBs
 • Flexibility and cultural awareness

Yes, step forward the Wimbledon School of English for advertising such a demanding job with so little reward!

I’m rather surprised, and not a little disappointed, that despite this very same school having won the highest of all possible marks in its recent British Council inspection, it’s still offering shit salaries for Dip teachers with oodles of experience.

 What’s worse, the ad makes no mention of how many of hours of classroom capers you’ll have to put in before they cough up that mighty 385 quid every week. If it’s around the 25 mark, that means you’ll be in effect working for something like a pisspoor 15 quid an hour!

Mind you, they do offer a free lunch. Whether you’re allowed a doggy-bag to help prevent yourself from starving to death on their shit salary is not clear, however. 

 Care to comment on that, Fiona Dunlop and Jane Dancaster?

Speak Up! forced to Pay Up!

Once again, Sandy's Tefl spies have brought to greater attention the dodgy doings of another shyster school. In this case, I am very proud to be able to shine the 'Spotlight of Shame' on Speak Up! London, who have been found guilty of flouting employment laws and promoting outright sexism in the workplace. The main character responsible is an upstanding gentleman of Asian extraction, pictured alongside, who goes by the glorious name of Mr Fartan!

Without doubt, this thieving toad represents another fine example of the cockroaches and scumbags who infest the UK Tefl scene. Last month he attempted to fire an employee for no reason and without notice or payment. No doubt this is the way employees, especially female ones, are treated in his country of origin. However, Mr Fartan (a.k.a. Farhan Quraishi) seemed to overlook that he lives in a civilised country now, whose laws need to be respected.

After a spirited campaign via social media, Mr Fartan was forced to change his cheating ways. You can find out all about the matter here:

http://www.solfed.org.uk/north-london/victory-against-wage-stealing-language-school

http://www.solfed.org.uk/north-london/marta-2-speak-up-0

http://libcom.org/blog/working-man-06062014

Anyway, I did some further digging into Mr Fartan and his academic cesspit, and I found some pretty vile stuff. He is a man who is not shy of making grand claims on his LinkedIn page, but in reality he appears to be much more of a wimp.

For example, he claims to be a "Multi talented individual whose skills set ranges" . Indeed , they probably range from promoting discrimination against his female teachers to failing to issue teachers with contracts. Or perhaps that is what he means by his boast that he is "Definitely not a one trick pony."? After all, he seems to have lots of tricks up his sleeve, especially when it comes to dodging his legal obligations as an employer.

He has also been pulled up about the full name of his school, which is Speak Up! London School of English on their website and advertising. Certain people at the London School of English, which is probably the UK's very best EFL school, have asked him to either alter his school's name or issue a disclaimer, stating clearly that his cheapskate outfit in tourist town is nothing at all to do with the high-quality outfit in Holland Park. However, for some strange reason that only Mr Fartan can provide, he has consistently refused to do so!

Another strange matter is the fact that on June 4 this year - just a few weeks back - Mr Fartan and his co-director, Kamila Cwiklinska (both of 49 Clarence Gardens, Camden) registered a new company at Companies House. This new school is called Speak Up London Language School Ltd - a name that is very similar to their current company, which was incorporated in August 2012, called Speak Up London Ltd.

Now, language schools come and go, and my experience of those that go after a name change is that they often claim insolvency and dodge the taxman. And for some reason, the current Speak Up! outfit has apparently paid no taxes and filed no accounts EVER!

Oh, and sometimes these shyster schools avoid paying their employees too. Is this another of those tricks that Mr Fartan likes to crow about?



Do YOU work at Speak Up!? Got a story to tell? 
Just send it to teflsandy@yahoo.ie and you'll receive a free packet of 10 Park Drive in return!

The Via Lingua TEFL Scam

I received this nice little addition to the blog the other day. Just so that it did not feel all alone hanging about at the foot of a blog posting about crappy TEFL courses, I have decided to promote it to pole position and do some follow up.

The Via Lingua TEFL course in Florence, Italy is a total scam. The school intentionally misleads potential students on its website by claiming that 85% of graduates of the TEFL course get a job within 30 days of finishing the course. This is a blatant lie - most of the people from the course go home without a job. The school provides very little in the way of support. Their idea of an exclusive lifetime job network for graduates is a binder full of print outs of job postings from TEFL.com and Dave’s ESL cafe.

Furthermore, the housing they provide is subpar and the owner of the school when confronted about these issues becomes very hostile. Via Lingua is basically a marketing scheme - they’ll say whatever they can (mislead, or leave out important information about the job market or working visas, etc) so they can get you to sign up for their course. They have about five or six websites all saying the same stuff, and they’ve paid bloggers and ESL sites like ESL Base to do free advertising. It’s not a professional school in any sense of the word. However, on the bright side (can’t all be bad, right?) Florence is a beautiful city!

It’s time for this school to be added to the TEFL blacklist. Via Lingua, you’re on notice.

http://www.vialingua.org/tefl-florence.asp

For further information, please contact info@vialingua.org, call toll-free in the US (888) 835-6207 or in the UK (44) 203-004-0943.

Actually I called the outfit in Florence a couple of times, but found it impossible to communicate with anybody there who could speak even basic English. Doesn't say much for their 'school', does it? 

Connor the Conman

I'm extremely happy to dish the proverbial dirt on another typical Tefl toerag who serves to drives down standards in our wonderful industry. If you ever have the misfortune to meet this specimen, don’t trust him as, according to the correspondence below, he is an accomplished liar and bullshitter.

The man’s name is Ralph Connor, and his dodgy Tefl operation goes under the name of the Living Language Tree (http://www.livinglanguagetree.com/). He describes it as a “training organisation”, but in truth he is a solo operator who hires either his drinking partners or newly qualified TEFL teachers with no experience. Worse, he continues to hire people entirely without teaching qualifications to teach classes of teenagers ranging from 12 to 15 years old. He is unable to work with children in the UK, due to his previous conviction for drug offences. He has also hired teachers who have drug convictions and who are forbidden from teaching in the UK. His stable of teachers is very small and consists largely of his dubious “mates”.

His website is a master class in bullshit and spurious claims. He claims to represent a “community of experts”, and offers services like “specialist research” and “teacher training and voice coaching”. However, he is not qualified as a teacher trainer or a voice coach, and his only research tool is Wikipedia. He is not a specialist in any subject except the brewing industry.

He is hired to run English courses by a number of schools in Austria for children aged 12 to 16. These schools are in Klagenfurt (Bundesreal Gymnasium, Klagenfurt-Viktring, 9073 Klagenfurt-Viktring), Linz (BG/WRG Gymnasium, Kornerstrasse Linz) and Baden. You can find an example of his achievements with Austrian children here.

He has employed some very dubious individuals who have no TEFL qualifications at all. For instance, his website states that he provides filmmaking course, which is combined with TEFL instruction. When asked about this course and whom he had in mind as a teacher, Mr Connor confessed that the man he had in mind was a fellow drinking partner. When questioned further (he was quite drunk at that time, which is probably why it was so easy to extract these confessional details), he admitted that this drinking buddy had no TEFL qualifications. He said that he enjoyed employing him simply because “He’s got no qualifications. He likes a drink and he has a big personality.” Some of the inexperienced teachers he hires also feel coerced into going out drinking with him. He creates the impression that this is expected of them, and they feel he will not hire them again if they refuse.

Of course, being an alcoholic himself, Ralph Connor prefers to hire those who enjoy drinking. This is no surprise, as those who have had the misfortune of working for him will have seen him begin his drinking at 2pm and carry on until 5.30am on a school night. He will then proceed onwards to school reeking of alcohol and sleepwalk through the day until he can resume his binge. Those Teflers who are not similarly inclined will be swiftly dropped from his books. At least they can say that they have had close experience one of the hairier corners of the TEFL world.

He also purports to offer teacher training. This would be laughable, given such a delusional claim, if it wasn’t so infuriating and aggravating, because it is individuals such as Mr Ralph Connor who are responsible for driving down standards in the TEFL industry. Mr Connor does not have a DELTA, CELTA or a PGCE to back up such a claim.

English in Action (www.englishinaction.com) employed him for a number of years. He left their employ for reasons unknown, and his version of the matter changes depending on his audience. The head of English in the school in Linz later revealed that Mr Connor offered to undercut EIA and that is how he founded his so-called business.  He poached his clients from EIA. I understand that EIA are still very unhappy with him over this.

So, there we go then. Does anybody else have experience of working with this most charming and talented Tefl leech, Mr Ralph Connor?

Paedo Tefler Alert!

A couple of years or so back, this blog played a role in blowing the whistle on a well-known Tefl paedo called called James Fraser Darling (still in China, we believe). Well, Sandy has been contacted again recently by a person seeking to find another Tefl pervert, this time a creep who goes by the name of Nigel Russell Harris.

You can read more about this vile slug here:

http://www.thestandard.com.hk/news_detail.asp?pp_cat=30&art_id=97585&sid=27995995&con_type=1

http://www.thehindu.com/news/international/article415257.ece

He was last heard of in Hong Kong, but his current whereabouts is now unknown. He might possibly be in China somewhere, perhaps working for EF, as James Fraser Darling was. Maybe EF are up to their old tricks of providing work for sickos again?!

Please post any information that you might have about this menace as a comment below.

The Merennas and the Caparellis...

I'm happy to be back with another story of Tefl crime and corruption, this time from one of our European neighbours. Please keep these stories coming in, dear Tefl spooks, as we need to do out best to protect ourselves from these swindlers, villains, and charlatans!

*******

Bruno Merenna is the prime representative of a country. That sentence also works without the final syllable.

Wanna make a wad of cash at other people’s expense? Bruno, his Daddy Giuseppe Merenna and partner-in-crime (literally) Quirino Caparelli stole a bunch of English materials and founded Worldwide School (Via Salaria 225, Roma). No need to pay the teachers – most of them will be back in the homeland soon, plus Italy’s the most notoriously corrupt country this side of the Third World. And when the injunctions start pouring in, what do you do? Close down and say you never heard of anyone.

Yes, the Merennas have shifted everything to Redford ‘Educational’ Center (Viale Regina Margherita, Roma, tel. 0039-06-0696039211) while Caparelli has a brand new cowboy outfit Michigan Center (Viale Casalina 1769, tel. 0039-06-45541110). Phone Caparelli and he’ll tell you to go to Bruno. Go to Bruno and he’ll deny knowing you, physically assault you and report you to the police for trespassing.

Thank you and God bless.

More info on these shysters and scammers here:

Like many English people in Italy I am struggling to survive in the face of spiralling prices (not salaries of course) and irregular work. Last year I worked for a school 'WorldWide' which never paid me correctly:

The first month's pay arrived 30 days late as I was about to leave for my holiday in England and 'the boss was unavailable' so they made me wait then finally give up and spend my holiday unpaid. On returning I telephoned - no answer - I telephoned the next day - they said come in TOMORROW - then they gave me a cheque (50 Euros too low) to be cashed THE FOLLOWING DAY.

The second month's pay arrived ten days late and 75 Euros too low. The third month (September) I earned 1,900 Euros to be paid on 10 October. I received 1,000 Euros on 25 October and was told the rest would 'arrive shortly'. So I resigned at the end of the month - with September's outstanding pay (900 Euro) plus October's (1200 Euro) unpaid. On 10 November I met Giuseppe Merenna, the CEO of the company in charge ('Project and Consulting Company'), and his son Bruno. Giuseppe said he was fed up with my 'whinging' and I could go on chasing him and he could go on avoiding me - OR he'd make me an offer. Not much of a choice. The offer was a cheque post-dated to 24 November for the 900 Euro; then October's 1200 Euro to follow in 2 instalments (23.12.10, 23.1.11). Clearly I had to accept.

When 24 November arrived I patiently went to the bank to cash the cheque, and to my disgust discovered it was not covered by funds! In a rage I burst into the school and as they saw I was beside myself they paid it in cash from the safe. The remaining two instalments have not arrived and clearly never will. I telephoned Giuseppe and he made excuses; I went to the school where they ignored me, then derided me, and finally said the money would be transferred to my bank account. Of course it wasn't.

Giuseppe has not responded to a letter from my lawyer nor even a judge's injunction - and as he has closed 'Project and Consulting Company' they have nowhere to send the bailiffs. Meanwhile, the school has changed its name (now Redford Center) and when I civilly approached Bruno to enquire his plans, he (a) denied knowing me, (b) threatened to attack me physically, and (c) called the police, telling them I was creating trouble.

The Redford secretary told me to ask for payment from another WorldWide boss, a Quirino Caparelli, who has now founded another school (Michigan): he told me to ask for payment from Redford! When I told him I was prepared to continue legal action, he said, 'Do what the hell you like, I don't care.'

Searching the Internet these people have a long history of fraud and NO ONE STOPS THEM.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vQTQakFxDGQ,

http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=137719399604830,

http://archiviostorico.corriere.it/1996/maggio/25/Truffe_immobiliari_continuo_aumento_Nasce_co_10_9605251993.shtml,

http://www.ciao.it/Opinionisulprodotto/WORD_WIDE_SCHOOL__2498967...

*******

There should be more to follow on this one soon. Watch this space!

Regency - End of an Era?

Regarding the subject of my previous posting, Regency Language School, this is the message that appeared on their Facebook page last week.

Regency College English Language School

We regret to tell you that Regency College has closed. Thank you to everyone who has worked and studied with us. We wish everyone luck and success with what happens next.

This was, of course, very brave of Toby Lindsay (pictured alongside), the self-styled management ‘expert’ and driving force behind this set up. He posts a terse message, a few days after the college’s doors had already closed suddenly and forever, leaving many staff and students none the wiser as the why they had lost their jobs or money. How brave!

What’s clear is that Toby and the other Regency management snakes have no intention of informing all the interested parties as to just WHY they have suddenly gone belly-up. Perhaps they have something to hide? And why did they delete their Facebook page the day after posting the message?

Well, my inside sources claim that the official reason for the closure is that the school had its license to sponsor students for more than 11 months revoked by the UK Border Agency because it had failed to apply for the necessary Highly Trusted status by the due date. In fact, Regency didn’t even apply for it, apparently maintaining it didn’t know it needed to.

The truth here, though, is that putting the blame on UKBA is more of a convenient excuse than a reason. Toby and his gang of shysters have also been under investigation for some while (see my posting below) for allowing - or rather, encouraging - many of its students to work illegally, against the stipulations of their entry-visa conditions, with the full knowledge of the school managers.

A former teacher at the school has stated this: “The students typically work as cleaners in nightclubs or have jobs in hotels as chambermaids, or as cooks and waiters in restaurants etc. - all this is common knowledge at the school.”

What’s also common knowledge at the school is that Toby runs Gulliver, Regency College’s very own ‘work experience’ company, which has been charging these same students for finding them placements, despite them not having the requisite visas.

Oh dear, Toby – naughty boy! Thought you had a nice little earner here, didn’t you? Thought you were so smart and cool.

And now you’re pants.

Anyway, those interested parties can find more information, and discover how to contact the snake, by looking at the links below.

Regency on Wikipedia

Regency's Demise - reported in The Argus

Toby on LinkedIn

Toby at Sussex University

Toby on Twitter

Toby's NEW company! (registered just three months ago)

Toby the Management Expert!

Oh, and by the way – Toby's mobile number is 07530 507030. Why not give him a call? I'm sure he'd appreciate a chat!

Regency College, Brighton

Not a lot of people know this, but Sandy has a network of Tefl spies peppered around the South coast of England, where dodgy outfits outnumber the bona-fide schools by about 2:1. My latest damning intelligence report concerns a rather vile little setup in Brighton, Regency College.

We'd like to nominate Regency College in Hove, Brighton, as a candidate for Crap Employer of the Year. The senior teachers there, Andy and Sheena, offer little support to new teachers, even for teachers coming in who are newly qualified, just having got a CELTA. Yes, there are complete novices there, straight out from the CELTA classroom. They just wanted somebody who would accept all the students that none of the other teachers wanted - a most noble educational sentiment!

As for the other management, the D.O.S is hardly ever in the school building, but this may well be to her partner having passed away recently. However, her deputy, Mary the ADOS, is aggressive, shouting at students and teachers alike, and generally serves only to create a hostile atmosphere. She likes to employ methods of 'psychological bullying' intimidating and undermining less experienced teachers, making comments like 'where are all our important teachers?' when only the newbies are around. Motivations skills like that must be very hard to acquire!

The students are given precedence and power over teachers, even to the extent of some teachers feeling bullied and unable to do their jobs properly. More worryingly, many of the college's students are working illegally against student visa regulations, with the full knowledge of the school managers. They typically work as cleaners in nightclubs or have jobs in hotels as chambermaids, or as cooks and waiters in restaurants etc. - all this is common knowledge at the school.

Other staff have reported being offered a job in writing and then having it retracted at the last minute, while the teacher was on the way to the school to sign the contract itself. One teacher was offered a contract which was then withdrawn it as the management shifted their schedule round to keep certain teachers on.

Teachers' morale is generally low there, with everyone looking out for themselves - even to the extent of hiding new teachers' administration papers so it looks like they are at fault. In general it's a nasty place to work, and best avoided.

Clearly this is a dodgy outfit that needs to be be checked out. We have accordingly informed the British Council and UKBA, and look forward to co-operating with them soon.

So, sounds like a cracking place to work, eh?! What do you have to say in your defence, Regency?

'CrapJobs!' for an Indian Summer!

I would like to offer my sincere apologies for this belated battering of summer school ‘Crap Jobs!’, but adverse circumstances put themselves in my way. If you had the misfortune to walk into one of these nightmare jobs, paying 'Indian-style' wages, please leave a comment below and apprise us of your personal horror!

First up is the Eckersley School of Oxford, a dignified Tefl institute that, according to the advert on tefl.com, “has a long history of learning and teahing” [sic]. Clearly, though, the school has no extended background in correct spelling or proofreading. It also claims that “many of our staff have a long history with the school”, which probably means in excess of six months.

Anyway, this outfit was offering Celta-belters a mighty £13.60 per hour for 21 hours of classroom capering, resulting in an impressive weekly paycheck of ... 285 quid!! In my view, any Tefl job that pays less than 300 quid a week is still living in the 1990s, when it was possible to earn that sum for the usual timetable of 25 contact hours per week.

If you’re interested in making an early application for next year’s round of summer shenanigans, try contacting the Academic Manager, Jackie Halsall, on 01865 721268. I’m sure she’d be happy to lie through her teeth and kid you what a wonderful experience the whole things is!

Next in the queue of awful summer employers stand the infamous cheapskates OISE, who were offering a measly 280 quid for 22.5 hours of intensive classes in small groups, which works out as less than 12.50 an hour!! In admission of this truly derisory financial offering, the tefl.com advert proudly states that “Newly-qualified teachers are welcome, and will be supported.” Clearly no experienced teacher would consider going near the place, then.

In my experience this company are exceedingly shifty. So the statement that “Contracts generally offer ... some leisure supervision in the afternoon on a rota basis” needs to be treated with extreme caution, as there’s no mention of any payment for these rota duties. The same goes for this – “There is a Saturday excursion, for which supervision duties are available on a voluntary basis for extra payment”. This ‘extra payment’ is a mere £50.00, which is around minimum wage level!

Still interested in this ritual humiliation? Well, please call 01865 258323 and ask to speak to Duncan Jamieson, the ‘Academic Mangager’ [sic], who also appears to have a problem with his English.

Last up is the well-loathed Devon School of English, who are already familiar to readers of the pages of this blog. This bunch of shysters were offering a true financial slap in the face – 299 quid a week (the same they were paying in Easter 2009), from which they deduct £35 to cover your accommodation!

The thoroughly obnoxious Bret Hawthorne is the boy to contact here, on 01803 559718, if you’d like to pre-book this once-in-a-lifetime experience.

So there it goes – or went, rather. But perhaps you had an even worse wage or experience this summer. Feel like sharing it with us? Please do!

Crap Jobs, British Council style...

Yes, it looks like the British Council is really scraping the barrel recruitment-wise. One of their recent adverts proudly claims a need for 10 newly-qualified Tefl twerps for Cairo – no experience needed at all!!

Of course, there was a time when BC only accepted highly experienced and well-qualified teachers, but now a greenhorn – no, TEN greenhorns! – will have the lucky chance of being inducted into the BC House of Horrors. As the advert states...

No post-certificate experience is needed; this programme is for teachers without the two years experience we usually ask for.

To which we have to ask ... why? Maybe, just possibly, there’s a financial reason lurking behind all this. After all, the salary is a measly 1100 quid a month, and there’s NO accommodation allowance – so you can kiss a lot of that money goodbye immediately. Mind you, there is the very heart-warming promise of “Assistance provided in finding accommodation plus reasonable time off in first two weeks for this purpose”. There you go – that’s BC being generous for you!

And they’ll have you work your butt off for them too – teaching up to 20 hours a week in the first six months, and then the standard 25.

Of course, if that’s not bad enough for you, try this other one, in Dar es Salaam, Tanzania. It’s allegedly a ‘local contract’, which is why it offers no baggage allowance or airfare at all – and no accommodation allowance either! But of course, if you just happen to be there already...

As the advert admits, “For a poor country, Tanzania is surprisingly expensive.” So trying to live on the measly BC salary of LESS than 1000 quid a month (in a declining local currency) might be very difficult indeed.

So, does anybody else have any Crap Jobs from the BC camp? Sandy would be very interested in checking them out, seeing as he’s got a LOT of free time on his hands right now!

British Council 'not ready' for zombie attack

A worried member of the Tefl profession has forced the British Council to admit it is unprepared for a zombie invasion of under-qualified ‘instructors’. The BC received a Freedom of Information request which said provisions to deal with such an attack, often seen in teacher-training horror films, were poor.

The ‘concerned Tefler’ said the possibility of such an event was one that the Council should be aware of, especially when considering that the salaries offered for many of their teaching posts were so much below par that the term ‘instructor’ is now used in their recruitment advertisements.

That Letter in Full

Dear British Council,

Can you please let us know what provisions you have in place in the event of a zombie Tefler invasion? Having watched several teacher-training films, it is clear that preparation for such an event is poor and one that British Councils throughout the world must prepare for – a sudden influx of under-qualified instructors who are hired on the cheap.

Please provide any information you may have.

Yours faithfully,

Concerned Tefler

"We've had a few wacky ones before (i.e., teachers), but this request did make us laugh," said Sharon Slapper, head of Information Governance at the British Council in London. Ms Slapper said she was unaware of any specific reference to Tefl zombies in the BC’s current recruitment plan, but some elements of it could be applied if the situation arose.

“BC used to insist on teachers with a Diploma at least” she continued “but nowadays we’ll take anybody with a Mickey Mouse Tefl certificate, as long as they’re prepared to work for ‘local salaries’ – peanuts, in other words”. However, she expressed the opinion that the organisation would draw the line at zombies and Crystal Palace fans.

However, Ed Thurlow, who runs zombie website Terror4Fun, said he felt a Tefler zombie invasion of the British Council was highly likely. "I’ve seen some of these types hanging around language schools in Oxford during Summer, and they really scare me. I reckon that this ‘Concerned Tefler’ has got something here” he stated, before disappearing behind a well-known chain school pursued by garishly-painted teenagers clutching newly-acquired Tefl certificates.

Shock Horror - Teflers are NERDS!!

My latest posting contains a brief report from Agent M, a well-concealed 'deep-throat' operative who is exceedingly well-placed to reveal to unsuspecting Tefl brethren the even seamier side of this appalling business. Or something like that. [Unfortunately the conference image that WAS alongside has had to be removed due to legal threats]

I went to the IATEFL bash at Brighton last month and frankly I ended up lying on the beach alone during some sessions, I was so terribly bored. It saddens me to say it, Sandy, but EFL teachers are officially NO FUN ANYMORE. And that is a change worth reporting, I must say.

I mean, what did these comrades-in-arms of mine end up doing in the breaks? Smoke a spliff or two on the beach? Try chatting up a few horny foreign students? Nope, they all seemed to revel in ... taking out their laptops and doing some sort of twitchy-twitchy work-related thing, ON THEIR OWN!! What a bunch of fuggin' douche-bags!!

OK, I must admit that a colleague of mine talked me into attending a workshop on twittering in a weekend session, as I thought I might actually learn something useful for once. No such luck, though – I was faced by an audience of apparent computer nerds who were twittering throughout. I soon found myself longing for the return of a workforce of drunk, skirt-chasing degenerates who turn up for work sozzled and get into fights. Paradise lost?

I reckon the cause for this outbreak of acute nerdiness could be something like this: as a result of the private sector being too mean to send their staff, all the attendees were goody-goody state school English teachers with no lives. In other words, the die-hard piss-it-all-up-the-wall Teflers from the crappy UK Tefltrade schools had to stay at home.

So, is Agent M right in his hypothesis? Did you go to IATEFL last month? Do you have anything, erm, interesting to report? Did you bump into these three dumpy old slappers alongside there [original picture removed due to threats of legal action from a rich publishing house]? And did you shag any of them, or did you prefer to play with yer fuggin’ Blackberry?

Shame on you all...!!!


And finally, as all of my pictures have fallen foul of the International Copyright Police, I'll just have to leave you with a rare and copyright-free glimpse of Yours Truly instead, attempting to remove them from my computer. The images, I mean, not the copyright cops.

Yeh, that really IS me!!

Language Teaching Centre Eastbourne - The True Unprofessionals!

OK, it's about time for my fortnightly update from one of the less salubrious corners of the Tefl kingdom. I know, I really should try and be more active on this blog, but what with my advancing state of Alzheimers, I can't remember the last time I posted. Shit, I can't even recall the last time I ... erm, what was I saying?

This time it's a verbatim report from one of my Tefl spooks on the south coast of England, where crap Tefl outfits and even crappier Tefl jobs number in their hundreds. Read this one and tell me - go on! - that this sort of Tefl shenanigans ain't as common as dogshit in a public park.

OK, I can't hold back any longer. Eastbourne again - LTC College.

As well as having a psychopath (and I am using the medical term here) as a Principal, their Director of Studies needs to be taken to task. He frequently tries it on with the Asian students, presumably seeing them as soft targets. He takes them to a pub near his 'shag pad', gets them lathered up and takes it from there. One long standing member of staff who politely suggested that this was not cool behaviour was told he was stupid, called a liar, and then 'constructively dismissed.'

The same Director - let's call him Alisdair Goldsworthy, because his mother did - also keeps details of conversations he has in the pub with his colleagues and 'friends.' If he feels like disciplining them, he hauls out his secret files and accuses them of making unprofessional comments about the school. He has used these as an excuse to rid himself of staff on several occasions.

Even worse, he tells teachers to make academic reports 'more negative' if he personally doesn`t like a particular student.

Oh, and there was the time when the school promised an employee who was on sick leave that they would keep his contract open. They then fired him at precisely the same time as he fell into a coma and then died. His wife and disabled child received the news of his dismissal by post.

Luckily the school is struggling to maintain student numbers and looks like it will soon go belly up anyway. However, I only think it is right that their appalling, inhuman behaviour be documented for all to see.

Thank you.

And you find a nice piccy of these LTC professionals here. Pretty they ain't!!

Okay, LTC Eastbourne - over to you now...

Crap School - The Burlington [UPDATED]

You see! I've only been back in the country a few weeks, and my TeflTrade spooks are STILL beavering away tirelessly, unearthing crap schools and passing on the news to Sandy. The latest piece of hot 'intelli' concerns a dump in London that rather grandly refers to itself as The Burlington School of English, and that rather gross-looking trout alongside is the Principal.

The report begins: "Several comrades have informed me about the Burlington School of English and how crap it is. They expressed surprise that nothing had been written about it, because everyone they know who's worked there thinks it's shit too."

I can easily believe this asessment, as I once went there for an interview myself, albeit many years back. The labels 'crap' and 'shit' were quick to establish themselves in my mind too, so I see that consistency is also one of their trademarks.

The reports goes on to state that this school pays less than £10 an hour for IELTS teaching, and has a pathetic lack of resources - just dog-eared old textbooks and a few dodgy worksheets. Even worse, the DoS is a disgusting fat bastard who, despite claiming to have ‘run’ a British Council School somewhere abroad (Libya? Saudi?), is utterly lacking in life or brains. On top of that, he has an elevated opinion of himself and is extremely rude and unprofessional in his dealings with staff.

In fact, this all sounds very déjà vu to me - it MUST be the SAME loathsome git of a DoS from way back when!? He was keen to impress on me that he'd worked for the BC in the Gulf, a fact that is hardly something to crow about - unless you're a saddo Tefler, I suppose.

Anyway, somehow The Burlington managed to scrape a measly pass for its British Council accreditation back in 2009. In fact, a closer inspection reveals they didn’t do too well, as the BC report mentions a distinct need for improvement in several areas, and zero areas of excellence.

So - any other news on this dump? Have you worked for this grumpy cunt of a pompous DoS? Please add your comments below!

UPDATE:

At the BSE the starting salary for a newly qualified teacher is £27.50 for a three hour session (20 minute break, unpaid). Those with a whole one year of teaching experience are on £28.50 per session, and the highest rate is £32 for a three hour slot – but only if you have a PGCE!

Incredibly, those teaching university preparation classes every morning for three hours are paid at the same rate, despite having to make do with various ageing coursebooks without CD's and having to make up a syllabus with pretty much no help. Asking the DoS for assistance was a waste of time, as he barely had a pulse.

Moreover, because of new Home Office regulations, the classes are going to be slightly longer with only a ten minute break, so that the students get the full three hours per day. Of course, there has been no mention of any increase in teaching rates to compensate for the extra work.

In fact, there is now a new Dos in place, as the old one left two weeks in advance after being badly treated by the Principal. Perhaps she rattled his coffin? Anyway, the new DoS was obviously more suited to the school, adopting a policy of “hear nothing, say nothing” in order to give the Principal no trouble.

However, one teacher had to keep pestering the guy for days to get ANY information about her new class, so that she could sort out books and prepare. Then he told her on the Friday before that there actually WAS no other class. Since the teacher was on a part-time contract, she was left with nothing but a suggestion of a 3-6pm class, which the dippy DoS knew she could not do owing to other commitments. Cracking management skills, eh?

The following Monday the same teacher, who had already considered herself unemployed, received a text message (the school only ever communicates by text) informing her of a new university preparation course starting the next day – even though she had never taught such courses before. It’s an absolute scandal that a school that is accredited by BC treats its students and teachers in such a shoddy fashion.

In contrast to its obvious failings, the school is extremely good at several things, though. For example, they successfully upset several teachers by putting up in the teachers' room a list of students who fail to improve on their exam grades. Alongside the student's name they put the teacher's name for everyone to see, which understandable causes no small offence.

The teacher concerned no longer works there, as she rightly figured she would be better off working in the domestic care sector. It pays the same money, almost ten quid an hour, but is much less bother – and no planning and marking! So you can see, it’s a cracking place to work at, is the Burlington School of English!

'Crap Jobs!' for (erm...) August!

OK, I know this monthly summary of the good, the bad, and the downright fuggin' ugly Tefl salaries on offer is more than a tad late already, but so what? I mean, is there any sane teacher out there who would actually consider applying for one of these dogshit jobs?

Oh, right ... I see.

Job	Nuthouse	Wonga
1-to-1 Teacher	King Street College, London	£20 per hr
Academic Manager	Margate Language Centre	Not Given
Academic Manager	EF, London	Not Given
Academic Manager	London Meridian College	Not Given
ADOS	Malvern House, London	£23-24k
DOS	Berlitz, Manchester	£22-£26k
DOS	IH, Belfast	£20 - £22k
EAP Teachers	EF, Oxford	Not Given
EFL Teacher	London Empire Academy	£10-15 per hr
EFL Teacher	Inlingua, Manchester	Not Given
EFL Teacher	Belgravia College, London	£10 per hr
EFL Teacher	TTI School, London	Not Given
EFL Teacher	Inlingua, Swansea	Not Given
EFL Teacher	EF, Cambridge	Not Given
EFL Teacher	ELT, London	£12.40 to £15.50 per hr.
EFL Teacher	Inlingua, Cheltenham	£20k
EFL Teacher	ABC School, London	£10 per hr
EFL Teacher	London Meridian College	£19-21.5k
EFL Teacher	King Street College, London	Not Given
EFL Teacher	West London Business College	£11.00 - £14.00 per hour
ESP (Law) Teacher	BBSI, Bournemouth	£19 - £20k
Senior Teacher	Bloomsbury International	Not Given
Senior Teacher	Berlitz, Manchester	£17,500-£18,500
TOEFL Teacher	Kaplan Aspect, London	18.69 per hr

Anyway, let's get straight on with dishing out the honours, shall we? I mean, for starters, how many of these esteemed TEFL employers are being a shade too secretive about the attractive salaries they're offering? Ten, it appears. Clearly they're worried about being deluged with applications if they publish their generous rates of pay, so I congratulate them on making the sensible decision to merely whisper 'salary on application', or similar. Cunts.

The other usual suspects are also there, namely BBSI in Dorset, who somehow think that they'll get an experienced legal wizard to work for them for an unbelieveably miserly 19 thousand quid a year. And Berlitz in Manchester - what about them, eh?! Offering a mighty 1500 quid a month for a Senior Teacher position - baah!! Cunts the two of them.

The traditional Sandy McManus 'Golden Fuck-off Award' goes to those providers of EFL tuition who manage to pay ten quid an hour or less, and this month I shall be informing the following schools of their entry (or permanent inclusion) in the McManus Hall of Infamy - the London Empire Academy, the ABC School, London, and the Belgravia Academy, London. You lot are cunts too.